May Meeting Minutes

09/06/13 19:46 Filed in: Club Business | News | Contest

May Minutes of the Illustrious Order of Plastic Modeling in the Shire of Huntsville
(A little Phlegmish village near Schnotterdam)

Ed "Watch Out He Knows How to Use a Grenade" Maslin Presiding in the Big Chair

Old/New/Ever So Slightly Boring Business

1.Our IPMS National Certification arrived! The ballyhoo accompanying this joyous occasion is hard to describe but this author, all too ill-equipped, will try.
Cheering was heard, Eli shed a tear, Shawn grumbled something about "still doing the frakking Secretary's job", a gull fell dead, Phil asked what it cost, Skip told us how much it cost, Dave disputed the cost and produced a yearly devaluation chart showing just how much it should have cost in Zimbabwean lira, a cake was produced, Mike wanted to question the exact shade of green used in the printing of the certificate, Ray told him to take a hike and it didn't matter because it wasn't German anyway, fireworks ensued, Scott (not actually present) opined that such things never happened when HE was El Presidente', Thomas disputed his assertion and called him "an complete prat", Rodger asked what a prat was and everyone pointed at Neil who took great umbrage at this characterization whereupon Burkey made his usual feather boa supported, flamboyant entrance, stepped onto a table and loudly proclaimed "No! I will not let this stand! Neil is no prat or I'm a Tunisian Sock Merchant! There, (indicating yours truly), there lies The Prat and call me Aunt Edna if it isn't so!" As Aunt Edna was surreptitiously waving a pistol in my direction with a nasty look on her face, I demurred. However, it was Tom to the rescue as, driving his huge Japanese Mecha fighter forward, snatched up the beweaponed biddy and slung her out of the building to the applause of all save Monsieur Burkey. The certificate was duly enshrined in the files with all the pomp and circumstance set out in the HPMS Manual of Arms 601-5, Rev.3.

2.Those "Vagabond People" owe us $2, American. (I would only point out here, strictly for everyone's future happiness that Dave, widely known to be a vicious, underhanded Sociopath, is the current treasurer and his wife is worse. She's a lawyer. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, eh?)

3. Mike breathed normally all night or passed out quietly. Either way, everyone seemed happy.

4.The Tres Amigos- "If It's SF I Build It" Dan, "I Obsess Over My Projects" Tom and "I Like Candy" Scott reportedly really killed at Anniston. The show got generally mediocre reviews.

5. Eli won in the Rotary Aircraft division at the same show. His was the only entry but this should not detract from the exquisite cockpit work on his 1:3850 scale Hienkle FletterSchpittenWopperKraft as seen from his graciously provided electron microscope images.

6.Tom reports that the annual show is on track. No one believes him but, as he was ensconced in a giant fighting machine, no one questioned him seriously.

7.Dave has taken up the task of plaques for the show. He said he had dozens of unused paper plates at home but the connection was not clear.

8.Andy experienced an enormous memory fail that was very public. However, as no one knew what he was trying to say, it is believed the impact will be minimal.

Show-N-Tell

Tom displayed Dr. Hungerford's Amazing Optical Cranial Device. This can apparently be had from a local source for a mere $9 US. It was cunningly wrought from the finest Hyderabad bakelite, came with spare, powerful optics and had an integral light. As our faithful membership, almost to the man, is in that time of life when faculties begin to fail this wonder was most favorably received. He also had a rather expensive model of a another fighting mecha from the Orient. Legs, armor, cannon, that sort of thing. Oh, and something about a "Mr. Fett".

Phil "If I'm Lyin', I'm Dyin'" Cassibry incited envy in all (well, me anyway) with his book written from the first hand accounts of a Sea Harrier pilot during the unpleasantness occasioned by the Argentinians and their folly during the Falklands Escapade. Ripping stuff.

Andrew showed a smashing '56 DeSoto whereby he had contracted Advanced Modeler Syndrome. The seats were real leather, the tires Goodyear spec rubber, he had the wheels custom chromed and the engine cranked. His tiny driver was, unfortunately, ill and could not attend. We eagerly await his return to good health!

The Complete and Utter Burk allowed a glimpse behind the curtain of his next virtuoso decalling experiment in the form of a new Battle Star Galactica "Pegasus" Battle Star ( A comment if I may- Who could watch this dreck? Starbuck , notwithstanding the actress's obvious charms, a WOMAN?! Ye Gods, next they'll be voting.). He also obviously could not resist the giant Polar Lights Forbidden Planet C57D Flying Saucer. He is a man of small resistance , as we know. (Secret Message-The Orangutan has slipped. The water is in a shoe. Alan Rickman has 7 toes.)

Ed, our esteemed Fuh....er.... Leader, has recovered a "disaster" car from Dan, a 2 door Imperial. I think Dan was on the verge of putting it to the torch. However, Ed, in his inimitable (insane) fashion has turned it into a stunner. Well done there.

Rick had some very nice Warhammer 40K figures but, mea culpa, I did not note what they were so this description will be incomple........

Everyone had some general frivolity at Scott's expense since he was hors de combat but the biggest entertainment was provided as usual by Burkey's presence who , by his own admission, is a Tunisian Sock Merchant.

Meeting was adjourned without violence this time.

Faithfully Submitted,
Your Most Humble Servant,
Sec'T'y

April Meeting Minutes

21/04/13 20:06 Filed in: Club Business | News

Here are the monthly meeting minutes as recorded by Robert “Who Gives a Honk?” Osborne

I'm on a bad mood and pressed for time.

Phil "Hatchet Man" Cassibry presided. No coup was attempted due to apathy.

We had a meeting.

Folks are going to Anniston. Dan and Lianna were mentioned but not present.
We discussed electronic payments and assigned Dave to look into it.
We owe the Vagabond Boys for the website.
Scott wants to host a one day Build Off event. Stay tuned.
Burkey lost Thomas' F-15 canopy. boob.
People showed off stuff.

We left.

End.

Next month, the part of Robert Osborne will be played by Oscar the Grouch. Stay tuned.

2013 HPMS Contest Flyer

13/03/13 20:06 Filed in: Contest

For them’s that’s interested, the new color flyer can be found here.

March Meeting Notes

13/03/13 19:42 Filed in: Club Business | Contest | News

Alright, since Robert was AWOL again, I will have to do the minutes. And in order to do them in the same style as Robert, I will first ingest an entire bottle of Nyquil, and hit myself in the head with a hammer three times.

***************************************************
President Ed "Papa Doc" Maslin opened the meeting with his usual panache. The first article of business was a reading of the old minutes, but since the club secretary was AWOL, they had to be recovered from the depths of the internet. After a truly stunning recitation of them by yours truly, there was a call for old business, of which there was none.

The first order of new business was related to the contest. Since there are two contests this weekend (Marietta and Cookeville) Tom Clark had prepared a new flyer to announce our show, brilliantly illustrated on antique vellum. He asked that the entry and table rates be confirmed for the next year. After a brief discussion, this was made so. Phil "Big C" Cassibry will be vendor coordinator again. The updated flyer will be posted to the mailing list, and the website.

The next order of new business was the proposal suggested last time that the Club utilize this thing called "The Internet" and "Paypal" to handle entry and table fees. This was suggested by one of the Oompa-Loompa Brothers (I can't tell them apart) since, for the first time in memory, we got burned for the cost of a table. Tom and Dave "The Banker" Lanteigne conducted an in-depth investigation for all of 15 minutes. Paypal charges 2.7% and 0.30 per transaction. Based on our last year's entries, if everybody paid via online or credit card, it would have cost us $85, which is a significant portion of our annual profit. Since the amount lost was less than that, the overall decision was to skip the 21st Century and investigate alternate forms of payment like gold krugerands, carven stone wheels, or seashells. Dave will also look into using cell-phone deposits of checks from the show.

This closed out the new business portion of the meeting, and proceeded into Show'n'tell, sometimes also called Laugh and Point.

- Ed "Special" K had his reworked "Jaws" diorama collectible, with a new repaired mast, waiting to be painted. His next steps are to sculpt figures of Quint and the Sheriff, and add the realistic odor of ripe chum to the scene. He also brought preliminary sculpts of the Tiananmen Square "Goddess of Liberty" in foam that he has been working on. He also brought a collection of print-out of internet kitten videos.

- Andy "Ze Big News" Brezinski brought his completed 2006 Dodge Challenger, and immediately challenged everybody to a race for "pinks". He also brought in some resin kits of a 56 DeSoto and 57 Mercury Turnpike Cruiser, both as pace cars.

- Scott "Marquis de Sade" Jeffrey brought in his vintage Monogram Fw 190A8, which started as a quick build, but his AMS quickly kicked in. He is currently having a complete BMW 801 crankshaft machined out of platinum-group metals for installation into the model, where it will never be seen again. He also had not learned his lesson with vacuuform kit, and has not branched out into resin with Breda Ba88 attack plane, which was so useless that even the Italians couldn't think of anything better to do with than using them as bombing decoys. (True story). He also had a Vichy Maryland bomber.

- Martin "Work In Progress" Burkey had a Hasegawa Voyager model, an Eduardo Profipack P-40N, and a Great Wall Late MiG 29 which he referred to as "my new baby." He also had another printed spaceship, the Discovery from 2001 (we don't mention that other movie it was in).

Papa Doc closed out the meeting in inimitable fashion, by showing off his AMtronic kit, which he then shocked the club by announcing an intention to build it out of the box. After the National Guard restored order, the crowd was ordered to disperse by order of the Governor, which it did slowly and reluctantly.

Mad Model Party - 18 March, at the Deep